You don’t have to be an anthropologist to observe that when people lay out their life goals, you’ll find some recurring themes along the lines of freedom, prosperity, health, meaningful relationships, deeper intimacy and, yes, even better sex.
These are universal desires, and yet, many will never actualise them.
Ever wondered why that is?
It often comes down to a disconnect between desire and action, underscored by two primary deterrents: fear and entitlement.
Many are either unwilling to confront the reality of the sacrifice, risk and struggle that it takes to have what they truly want, or believe that they’re entitled to privileges, quick wins and shortcuts — and are apt to blame their partners, parents, bosses, the patriarchy or the government for their lack of responsibility.
It is one thing to eloquently articulate what one desires, but standing in the raw vulnerability of acknowledging the work, the struggle, and the sacrifices needed to make those dreams a reality is another.
And ironically enough, trying to avoid pain, or sidestep the discomfort that comes with taking responsibility becomes its own kind of — lifelong — struggle — entangled in a self-defeating loop, a perpetual holding pattern between aspiration and reality.
This brings us to one of the most important questions that we can ask ourselves, one that not only casts a spotlight on who you are, but who you have the potential to become.
So, ask yourself:
What are you truly willing to endure, to fight for, to manifest your deepest desires?
It’s no secret that deep down, we all want the same markers of ‘success’ — whether it’s the executive title, financial freedom, rock-solid relationship or happy family life. Yet, the defining factor that sets winners apart from the crowd (&complainers) is their unwavering commitment to a cause or a loved one.
It’s as if they have chosen their hill, and are willing to die on it.
I’ve come across countless individuals who aim for top-tier job titles or build seven-figure businesses with exponential growth curves, only to fold under the weight of real-world responsibility and the burden of (self-imposed) expectations.
Similarly, the idea of living where and how you want and earning a multiple 6-figure income sounds compelling… yet, very few are ready to embrace the unknown, navigate the lonely roads of solopreneurship, and put in the work that come before the freedom.
And the same principle applies to relationships.
It’s easy to enjoy the euphoria of new love, but are you willing to put your heart on the line and commit to navigating the rough patches, accepting the lows and differences, whilst choosing to love and respect each other, even through the darkest and most challenging times?
The ultimate question here is not, “What do I want?” but rather, “What am I truly willing to endure, to fight for, to manifest my deepest desires?”.
Yes, I’m reiterating the same pivotal question, because ultimately, it’s our response to what life expects from us, rather than what we want and expect from life, that awakens our power, potential and purpose in life.
The way I see it, the path to anything worthwhile involves commitment, grit, dealing with rejection, and the wisdom to see losses as lessons.
It’s easy to want success, to dream of the finer things, the freedom to live where and how you want, or the relationship or family unit you’ve always dreamt of. But big achievements demand big commitments — not shortcuts (and definitely not excuses!).
So, if you’ve been stuck wanting something and not moving the needle, perhaps it is time to look in the mirror and ask.
Are you willing to give what it takes? To give up your old, comfortable life?
Are you truly ready to put your skin in the game even when success isn’t guaranteed?
Are you willing to face the “no’s” on your way to the”yes’es” you desire?
To be disliked, to fail, to be judged, to be laughed at?
To put in the hours when no one is clapping, and others are living their wildest Peter-pan dream?
To prioritise your health so you can take the hits, falls, and stumbles and still get back up to make the next move?
Yes, commitment is hard, but as messed up as it may sound, as much as we crave feeling good all the time, there’s a small part of us that likes the pain and struggle.
Struggle is your rite of passage, a baptism by fire that confers a deeper, richer layer of meaning to your life. Maybe because it reminds us of who we are and what we are capable of achieving.
So wherever you are in life, and whatever circumstances you’re facing…
Find your hill & face it with unwavering commitment.